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    • Four Engineers in a Car

      Four engineers are traveling in a car: a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again,” says the mechanical engineer. “I thought it might be a timing problem,” says the electrical engineer, “Or maybe a faulty plug lead.” “Well,” says the chemical engineer, “It sounded to me as […]

       
    • Glass of Milk

      Somebody left half a glass of milk next to the keyboard. The Reaction? Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Optimist: The glass is half full. Futurist: The milk’s in the wrong half of the glass. Basic programmers: No thanks; I’m still nursing. Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it? C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug. Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow. Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next […]

       
    • A Man and his Frog

      “A Man and His Frog” A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. The man bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The boy took the frog out of […]

       
    • Programmers vs Engineers

      On a train to a large computer convention there was a group of computer engineers and a group of computer programmers. The group of engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. Each of the programmers had a train ticket. The programmers started laughing, figuring the engineers were going to get caught and thrown off the train. One of the engineers said “here comes the conductor”, all of the engineers went into the bathroom. As normal the programmers were […]

       
    • Blond Jokes

      1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The […]

       
    • 50 Ways to Disturb a Computer Lab

      1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt. 2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. 3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can’t get the damn thing to work. After he/she’s turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat […]